It had to happen at some point. The pirates™ from ThePirateBay.org captured a number of bottled messages that had been watered by passengers of the Olympic™ cruise ship and are holding all of these messages hostage now. The evil™ pirates™ are even making fun of the poor captain and the brave sailors now, basically claiming that watering messages in a bottle means that anyone who finds them, whether on high sea or at his shore can keep them or even copy and redistribute them. This is obviously outrageous!
Most likely there will be no further bottled messages, because of the incident. This shows how ruthless those pirates™ actually are and that in addition to the War™ on Drugs™, the War™ on Terror™ and all the other wars, we are in urgent need for a War™ on ThePirateBay.org. The only suitable response for such a blatant disregard of the commercial™ interests of the IOC™ will be an international pre-emptive strike against Sweden™ using tactical nukes to prevent any further damage to those interests.
This should teach it to those Swedish pirates. Hej™ då™, ThePirateBay.org!